"Tomorrow's breaking news will feature our friends' spicy bytes, family members' teary mugs and our dead bodies. I will be looking uber cool in BeBe sweatshirt, Calvin Klein jeans and Nike sneakers. But what about you, a fashion street junkie?. I hope they won't focus too much on your zits". : my girlfriend is loudmouthed plus pretty face. According to her I am Peppy but Zitsy-faced.
"Zits ? What's that ?" I asked . "pimples" she answered and continued "and what if they get hold of your antique wallet?. Will your wallet be an Exhibit A?. No credit card, not even an ATM card. What a shame it will be to be written off as your girlfriend on the front page of tomorrow's newspapers".
I had to hear all this and much more bakwaas when I asked my hep girlfriend "Tuze Aksa beach ghooma doo ... aa chalti kya ?". OK, fine. So I am this lower middle class boy from Khar. Did you ask "Where's that ?". Well Khar is between Bandra and Santacruz. My girlfriend stays in Bandra. Big Deal !. She says that she is not my girlfriend but just friend. I am 100% sure she is my girlfriend because she is the only girl, I'm friends with. Let her argue, whatever she wants to. Anyways she is good ... better.... best ...at that , arguing nonstop on any given topic, just to contradict me. She always takes potshots at my status or rather lack of it.
In "Jane tu ya jane na" , Jay is a middle class boy , compared to richi rich Aditi , still there's no strain in their friendship. So what's wrong with my girlfriend ? She liked the movie. She liked Imran Khan even more. It prompted me to ridicule Imran's bushy eyebrows. This must be the first time, I bitched about anyone or paid any attention to a guy's face. I mean there are so many girls around, why waste your time and eye-sight on boys?. On the platform, in the buses, at the malls, I offer my close-up smile to the girls. But these girls are so stingy, they never return anything, not even the smile. They either turn away their faces or stare at me as if I am an Anaconda dressed up as a boy.Forget the girls, just for a while of course. Why does my girlfriend give so much attention to my outward appearance?. why does not she look inwards. I don't mean "kya kool hai hum" sort of double meaning here. It's cool for Salman Khan to woo Priyanka with "Tuze Aksa beach ghooma doo , aa chalti kya".
It's super-duper hit for Imran Khan to dance "Pappu can not dance" with Genelia. Then why should I be denied the basic human ( boyfriend ) right to take my girlfriend at Aksa beach?. My girlfriend insists on Juhu beach. Now which half-wit goes to Juhu with girlfriend?. I mean everybody with his family and dog swarm Juhu. Where's the privacy?. On my birthday she gifted me a Pink shirt. I tried to reason with her. Who wears Peee.....nk shirt?. She blurted "Ranbir, Sainf, Shahid ..... ". Not in my league, I warn you. First she teases me about my Ajay Devganish complexion and now this Peeee...nk shirt. What the hell?. Can not she gift me the cash instead?. I could have bought 3 Louis Phillips ( White , White and off white ) from Churchgate subway. On her birthday, I gifted her Lakme's 9 to 5 lipstick. She snubbed "Have you ever heard about Channel, Max Factor, Neena Ricci ..... blah blah blah". Agreed, she has this Angelina Jolie lips, which she pouts twenty five hours a day, meaning pretty much all the time. So what?. If she is pretty, I am Peppy.